Photo courtesy of Unsplash.
Hello, and welcome back to the Two Piers podcast, Season One, Episode Four. This week, in the midst of the global coronavirus pandemic, we’ll be sharing some ways to stay grounded while we transition to self-isolation and working from home. We also recognize that many folks are taking on the additional transition of having kids home from school during the day which can add an entirely new set of challenges to navigate. More than that, people are dealing with an incredible amount of stress. We are facing risks and uncertainty in many structural areas of our life, such as access to medical care, the financial system, etc… So, when those feelings of panic or anxiety start to rise, focus on what you can do, rather than what’s outside your sphere of control. The entire world is facing this crisis together. Before we get started, we want to say a sincere thank you to the medical professionals out there fighting this pandemic and putting their own lives at risk. We appreciate everything you’re doing.
So, we’re going to try to keep this podcast relatively light-hearted and very much tactical, because there’s enough existential dread out there to last a while and we need to focus on what’s actually within our reach. In that vein, let’s start with some small silver linings to self-imposed isolation.
We can think of a few...
Firstly, yoga pants! (or maybe no pants?)
Also, you finally get a chance to use that leave-in conditioner you’ve been wanting to try
And a big one: pet cuddles, on draft
But we also know there are some serious downsides as well, including:
Lack of structure
Isolation
Boredom, depression, or feelings of suffocation
We’ll start out discussing strategies for staying sane and healthy while social distancing and self-quarantining, then we’ll address the ever-controversial “working from home.”
First of all, are you an introvert or extrovert? Be prepared to be affected differently depending on how you naturally re-energize. Personally, I’m an introvert, (so shout out to my other introverts that are at the ready with their recommended reading lists), but even I am susceptible to cabin fever, so my heart goes out to the extroverts who are suffering magnitudes more. We’ll try to highlight where certain advice might be more applicable depending on whether you’re an introvert or extrovert.
One piece of advice that we’ll offer universally is to take control of your environment. Being amongst clutter is a big environmental stressor - it can act like static noise in the background of your life. So put the time in now to get your environment as welcoming and calming as possible. It will pay back dividends in your mental wellbeing and your productivity. If reorganizing your home office or bedroom feels incredibly daunting, maybe try gamifying it. Give different tasks or rooms different weights and give yourself points and some small rewards at the end of the day or week. In these times where we can feel a loss of agency, taking control of our environment can be really therapeutic. There are enough legitimate things to worry about. Let’s not allow that pile of shoes in the corner be sucking up any of our positive energy.
Another universally applicable piece of advice is to get some sunshine and fresh air, even if that means it’s only on your front porch or stoop. Maybe take a coffee break on your balcony or patio. If you can’t squeeze in any natural sunlight, then we suggest investing in a full spectrum light for your workspace or kitchen, as well as some Vitamin D supplements. Both of these can impact energy levels and overall mood. It’s really important to keep an eye on your mood level, by the way. It’s easy to get caught up in a negative spiral and without others around to help keep us regulated, we might not even realize how poorly we’re feeling until we’re really in a lurch, at which point judgement and perspective can be skewed. If you’re suffering from depression or experiencing self-harm or suicidal ideation or thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or if you prefer text to speaking, text HOME to 741741 for the crisis text line.
Now is the time to be scheduling video calls with loved ones and long lost friends, especially if you’re feeling isolated. Just beware of the draw of social media. When we’re craving interactions with others, Social Media can end up feeling like a supplement, but it can be a one-way feed and can sometimes make us feel even worse. It can be good in doses, but it can also become a black hole for your time and energy. If you come away from a Social Media binge feeling refreshed and motivated, then great! I know that for many of us, however, it can be a time sink, and we feel more anxiety rather than less. This is where time-blocking can be key. We’ll discuss this more a bit later.
So how about some self-care options. Do you have that drawer full of fancy beauty products or bath bombs that you never actually use? Well now’s your chance. Taking a bath can be a great way to get ready for bed, especially when your mind is in a million different places and you’re struggling to get it to quiet down. I feel like we all probably have that pedicure kit that someone got us as a gift that’s never gotten used. Well, mine is making an appearance this weekend. Maybe try out that weird charcoal mask in the bottom of your drawer. If it leads to a breakout, it’s pretty low stakes and now you have permission to throw it out. It’s also a good opportunity to pause some of your beauty routines for a reset, like plucking eyebrows, getting your locks trimmed or shaving your legs. Always wanted to try waxing your legs instead? Well now’s your chance to go fully wooly so you can try a different depilation method once all this is over. Want to change your eyebrow shape? Let those brows grow back in and start with a clean slate. I’m in the middle of growing out a pixie cut, so when I do finally go to see my stylist, she’s definitely going to have more to work with.
This one might not be super popular, but it’s a big one: try to limit alcohol and binge eating or mindless snacking. Alcohol is a natural depressant, and right now, that might not be what you need, even if you think it’s going to make you feel better. You’re also probably getting less activity in, so increasing your calories can make you feel lethargic and it can start adding weight during a time when we don’t need to be increasing comorbidity risks. Also, importantly, it can end up being a crutch that masks boredom or depression and there are much healthier, more effective ways to tackle those two maladies. Next time you reach for the fridge outside of mealtime, ask yourself whether you’re really hungry, or you’re just bored.
If you feel like your brain is starting to turn to mush, try learning something new or try mastering something old:
experiment with new recipes
Try an online yoga class or dance class
Check out edX or Lynda.com for online college courses
If you need some more passive mental stimulation, consider video games. For extroverts, maybe a multiplayer game with friends or relatives. There are also great video games for introverts as well, and they’re not all first person shooter games. Consider trying some puzzle games to give your brain a change of pace without complete vegetation. I don’t normally play video games much, but I am a big fan of Tetris Effect because it really helps me reach a state of flow. For a throwback game, Animal Crossings is out for Nintendo Switch this week.
Another option to keep you busy and help with isolation is to try fostering an orphaned animal. It’s not a permanent commitment, but it will certainly make an impact on an animal’s life, and provide some companionship and cuddles in the short term. Reach out to your local animal shelter to find out about foster programs.
So a few words about self-quarantining with a partner… Communication. Communication. Communication. Don’t let things fester. We don’t know how long this will drag out, or when we’ll finally be able to come up for some space and air, so you’re going to have to communicate in real time about how you’re feeling so you can each treat each other conscientiously. Personally, I highly recommend taking the love language quiz. It can help you better understand how to show your partner love in the way they value most, and it can also help you understand when they might be trying to show you love, just in a different way than you’d normally prefer. On a more tactical note, try setting up individual personal space. For us, I work in my home office in the front of the house and my spouse works in the back of the house. We only see each other for lunch, or if we text each other asking for a coffee refresh while the other is on a call. Also, if you can afford it, buy some noise cancelling headphones. This lets him play video games while I work on podcasts, or read my book. We are still cohabitating, just separately at times.
On a more somber note, instances of domestic violence spike during times like these. If you are at risk, or know someone who is, please reach out to a local crisis line. These are trying times, pressure is high, and we’re all locking ourselves away together so tempers are bound to flare. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
So now we’re going to switch gears and talk about working from home.
First thing’s first - get yourself set up properly. If you can afford it, try to get a decent chair and desk combination, or even work standing up. If you’re on calls all day, invest in a comfortable headset. When I was working from home regularly, I invested in a sit-stand desk and a full-spectrum light because they really helped with my energy levels, especially when I was taking early morning calls and it was still dark out. I also bought some IKEA art for the walls and a fake plant so that I had pleasant surroundings. This stuff might seem trivial in the midst of a pandemic, and you may not have the budget for new purchases right now, but there are options that won’t hit your wallet. Find a way to print or clip something at home that’s aesthetically pleasing, or even an encouraging quote to put up somewhere within your line of sight, and maybe pick a few green things from outside to put in a glass of water to add some flora to your space. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, and I promise you that it will help.
Now we’re going to talk about structure. Your day may already be quite structured if you have lots of meetings, like I do. If not, you can add structure to your day by setting up a calendar and time blocking. This applies to physical space as well. Keep your work space separate from your relaxation space if at all possible. This may simply mean two different chairs on opposite sides of the room if you’re in a studio, but trust me, it helps. When you do take any kind of extended break from work (i.e. more than a 5 minute browse of the news), try not to do it in your work space. For example, take your lunch at the table, or near a window. This segregation of space and time will help your relaxation feel like relaxation, and it will help your workday feel more productive. When work and relaxation start to blur together, it can impact our perception of quality for both. It’s hard for us to feel like we accomplished work during the day if we’re doing it from bed, and it’s hard to feel like you’ve really put work aside at night if your scenery hasn’t changed at all.
You might be used to casual conversation with colleagues. These interactions provide valuable intellectual stimulation that can help stave off mental fatigue and spark creativity and problem solving. Even if you think you’re just chatting about weekend plans or debating mortgage refinancing, your brain is getting a much needed break. If you’re working from home on your own, find your mental break another way. You could do a video chat coffee break with colleagues, or schedule 10 minutes to watch cat videos on Instagram or browse Buzzfeed for memes. Again, time-blocking is key, and there are some great apps out there that can help you add structure so you don’t end up sucked into the blackhole that can be the internets. “Workflow Timer” and “Sloth - Task Manager” are two very basic apps that can help with time-blocking.
For meetings, try mixing in video calls, should your hair allow, and don’t feel like you need to be all dolled up. Just getting to see people’s faces, shiny skin, matted hair and all, will help us relate as humans. We also recommend you practice your muting and unmuting skills because you do not need the stress of an unmuted faux pas. If in doubt, say “can you guys hear me?” loudly before yelling at the dog. Along those same lines, take the time to learn how to share your screen properly. If you need help, just ask. And as we’re all supporting each other right now, try to be forgiving of the background noises. Yes, Joey’s loquacious 4-year old might be breaking your train of thought, but everyone is doing their best. Conference call background noise is an excellent opportunity for us to exercise our focus muscles. If you’re finding that those muscles have atrophied since your college cramming days, don’t punish your colleagues. Instead, try some 5 minute meditation sessions on Headspace or Calm to get better at it! A few times a week will start to make a big difference in no time at all.
Lastly, if you’re a manager, recognize that different people thrive in different environments. If you’re worried about your team’s productivity, rather than micro-manage or make assumptions, set specific objectives and milestones with clear deadlines, and schedule regular check-ins so that any barriers or challenges can be surfaced early for your intervention without you needing to micromanage.
For the folks out there working from home and sharing their space with kids, and/or trying to homeschool, you’ve got this. In our household, we’re just managing furkids, and we’re not experts on homeschooling, but there are lots of resources popping up on the internet. Frankly, if the kids simply become experts in folding clothes and mowing the lawn over these next few weeks, it will still serve them well in life. This isn’t going to make or break their career chances, so give yourself a pat on the back and take a deep breath.
If we have one overarching piece of advice, it’s to focus on compassion, be flexible, and let go of the small stuff. Schedules will be disrupted. We won’t perfectly master the new work life balance. But that’s ok. Find normalcy where you can and cherish your loved ones.
If you have any questions or need some support, please reach out to us on whatever medium you’d like. Our contact information is on our website at www.twopiersconsulting.com, and we’re on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn as well. We look forward to hearing from you. We’ll meet you back here soon, and in the meantime, stay home and stay safe.